Travel

http://www.postsecret.com/

Since this is my last passion blog post, I thought I'd pick a postsecret that correlates with my life passion: traveling. So far, I have visited 14 European countries and this summer I am planning to broaden my horizons and study abroad in Latin America, more specifically, in Mexico. Personally, there is nothing that makes me feel more alive and more happy than visiting a foreign place and immersing myself in new cultures.
What I enjoy most about traveling is the thrill of the unknown; anything can happen, you can meet any type of person, and each day is just a brand new adventure when you are abroad.

This postsecret reminds me of my own life dream. I never really planned on marrying early or having kids like a lot of my friends have; all I want to do was find a friend and just travel. I think traveling has changed me in many ways. Most importantly, it made me such an open and nonjudgmental person. I am not only free of judgment of all cultures and religions but I also am deeply fascinated by them. My best friend from home is Persian and Muslim; my two best friends here at Penn State are Indian and Vietnamese. I love diversity and I love interacting and learning from these people who are so different from me.

Secondly, I think traveling has made me "grow up" and mature more, in a good way. I remember the first time I traveled, my parents put my on a plane by myself at age 12 to take a trip to Poland for the summer and live with my aunt. Its made me less reliant on others and allowed me learn how to take care of myself.

Overall, I cannot stress how important and life-changing traveling can be and it worries me when some people have never been out of the country. There is so much to see abroad and so much new cultures, languages, and types of people to meet. :)

Bad habits

http://www.postsecret.com/

Two wrongs don't make a right but revenge is a part of human nature. To me, this postsecret is just an example of how people try to get back at each other and in the end up hurting one another.

Revenge makes common sense: you hurt me, I hurt you. And it’s hard to be the bigger person and just deal with the hurt and do nothing back. I'm a big believer in karma; what goes around comes around. I try to live by that motto and that usually helps me avoid taking revengeful actions.

Another lesson from this postsecret is that people are too quick to judge. The person assumed her partner was cheating when he actually was not. A lot of times, things aren't how they seem but we are usually too impatient to find out the real facts.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that we all possess bad qualities: revengeful motives and quick to form judgments.  And the only way to solve this is to make a conscious effort to be a bigger person.

http://www.postsecret.com/

I am adding a second postsecret today because I think this one correlates with the one above. Although we all do possess bad qualities, sometimes people love us for them. Or maybe a better way to put it is that sometimes a person can overlook our bad sides and still love us. This postsecret is about a woman who loves her drug addict partner even though he consumes drugs.

In my opinion, our bad habits/qualities help define us. The point is to find people who are able to deal with our vices and help us improve.

Going to Hell

http://www.postsecret.com/

"I can't believe in GOD. He'll know I only believe because I'm afraid of HELL"

Last semester I took a philosophy class where we analyzed the concept of God. Although it was a long, controversial topic, the general conclusion was that it was irrational to believe in a higher being but that it was beneficial. There is no concrete proof that God exists and if you factor in that he is supposed to be: Omnipresent, Omnipotent, and All-knowing... there is no way that a God could be all these three at the same time. For example, if God gave us free will to make our own choices, then how can he be all-knowing? It would be impossible and therefore it does not make sense to believe in him.

However, the other side of the argument was that "what do we have to lose?." If we do not believe in him, then we have the chance that we will go to Hell. But by believing in him all we may lose is time worshiping him and gain eternal Heaven in return. We are better off believing in a God. But does that justify us to become religious? I don't think so. I think that many people are raised into a religion, are scared of Hell, and therefore attend church every Sunday but never truly believe.

Like the postsecret states, our reasons for being religious sometimes aren't pure and contradict the concept of believing. Our fear of death is so strong that religion gives us hope, but that doesn't necessarily mean we actually believe.

I do not know where I stand on this issue. I was raised Catholic but I stopped following “organized religion” for the same reason that the postsecret writer did… I don’t want to waste my time with something that my heart and head didn't fully support just because I am scared of death. Thus, I consider myself to be spiritual and not religious.

...save my life.

www.postsecret.com

This postsecret reminded me of one of my favorite movie quotes from The Dead Poets Society: carpe diem. This translates from Latin to “seize the day” and tells us to tackle each day as if it was our last.

Most of us think we are invincible, that we are immune to death, and have ample time to carry out our dreams. This leads us to live mediocre lives; to not appreciate each day fully; to not take risks that would make life more enjoyable. Truth is, this is not a good way to live.

I've read many stories and heard many people talk about how cancer, or certain illnesses like diabetes, "saved" their life. By knowing that they have limited time left on the Earth, less than most humans, these people start to do as much as they can in each day. Many people start to complete their bucket lists and start appreciating everything they have. I guess we can say that life-threatening illnesses have one benefit; they allow people to live with a purpose and lead meaningful lives.

So my proposition is that why don't we all live as if we have life-threatening illnesses? We don't know how much time we have here on Earth but since we are "healthy" we think that nothing bad can happen to us. What if life was to end tomorrow? Would we have carried out all our dreams? Would we have lived a life that made us happy?

I think it is important to take risks and to make each day as meaningful as possible. I do not understand how some people can spend all day in their bed sleeping. Time is scarce and it is important to appreciate what we have and try everything once in life because we will not get a second chance.

I think it is very ironic how the burden of having a serious illness can bring about great happiness to a person.

Want Me

http://www.postsecret.com/

"I wish I didn't have to take my clothes off for you to want me"

I think love and sex is not what it used to be; I think that sex has lost a lot of its "meaning." It used to be that when two people were in love and wanted to conceive, they would participate in sexual activity. Now it is just a recreational activity that two people, a lot of the time even two strangers, have sex because they want to feel satisfaction. In my opinion, sex lacks passion nowadays and therefore girls, like the one writing the postsecret, feel a sense of being used for quick pleasure and not for meaningful purposes like love.

Because of this new open-mindedness to sex, girls end up feeling like a "piece of meat" and often feel like guys do not actually want them, they just want their body. Sometimes even when I meet a new guy at a party, I wonder if he is interested in me or if he is interested in my assets. How did this transition from sex being a sacred act to being a common social activity occur? Maybe it’s from the sexually driven marketing techniques that have taken over magazine and billboards. Maybe these advertisements with half naked women made men respect girls less (and the opposite way around) and subconsciously lowered the standards for sexual intercourse.

There is less respect for the other sex, less meaning in sex, and casual sex occurring more frequently. With sex not being as sacred as it used to be, it has become ok to have sex with people that one does not know well. Therefore STDS and pregnancies have increased dramatically. I read an article recently that showed how the US has as many HIV sick people as Africa in 2011.

In conclusion, I think its important to re-evaluate the meaning of sex and the think about the consequences of taking the word and action lightly.

Plasma



http://www.postsecret.com/


Recently, me and my floor mates were talking about buying tickets to Dayglow but we all thought that the $62 was too much money for a concert and we were hesitant to purchase them. Then one night, a friend proposed that we donate plasma in order to go to the concert. By donating plasma we would receive $40, and then the concert would out come out to a manageable $20. The next day we all purchased our tickets.

I'm not sure how I feel about doing "good deeds" for monetary compensation because in a way I feel like it defeats the purpose of doing that good action, but most would argue that you have to do what you can to survive. Keeping this philosophy in mind, I think that sometimes people are pushed into desperate situations in order to pay off their debts. I've heard stories of women donating their eggs in order to pay rent or even people donating kidneys and selling them in the black market for money.

What this Postsecret is saying to me is that times are getting harder; especially with financial situations and more people need an "easy way to make quick money" and resort to situations like these. Is this ethical? In my opinion, no. It will always be more respectable for someone to work hard at a job rather than donate plasma to pay for loans; but as times are getting hard, these types of situations are increasing.

On the other hand of the argument, if more people are donating blood / plasma / organs for money, wouldn’t this also help more people in need? The answer is yes; so in conclusion although ethically wrong, maybe this situation would help out both people: the ones who need plasma and the people who needs money. Maybe it is better to have monetary compensation for good deeds because that way everyone wins.

Rid Myself of You

http://www.postsecret.com/

I chose this Postsecret this week since it is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. This secret to me, represents a REASON as to why people suffer from eating disorders. Professionals say that eating disorders are not about wanting to become skinny or thin, instead they are a way people gain control of their lives. By starving oneself or by purging food after eating, one seems to have full control over his or her body and therefore they feel in control of their whole lives.

In this secret, thoughts of a bad relationship may have been taking over this person’s life to the point where it was unmanageable. Purging therefore made the person feel like he or she had a new sense of power and that the relationship no longer controlled them.

The ironic thing about eating disorders is that although one might feel like he or she is getting her life back on track and that he or she is in control of his/her life, in reality they are controlled by a destructive habit.

I think it is also important to bring up that people suffering from eating disorders are often misjudged and therefore not given the help they need. Many people will say that these people are trying too hard to become model-thin, and not realize that this disorder stems from issues deeper than body weight. Depression and eating disorders are commonly tied together and many people suffer from both at the same time. By trying to regain control of their lives and get out of depression, they chose to start starving themselves and end up in a vicious cycle.

In conclusion, this Postsecret does an amazing job of explaining why people suffer from eating disorders. I also enjoy the skeleton image on the Postcard because it shows how people SEE others with eating disorders, just skin and bones. But there is more to the story than that...

I miss you

http://www.postsecret.com/

"I find comfort in checking the weather where my husband is incarcerated... It makes me feel closer to him"

This weeks Postsecret is about missing someone. I think we can all relate to this person because we all have missed either a family member, a loved one, or a moment in time. I cannot imagine how hard it is to have your loved one away for such a long period of time and just constantly missing him/her, especially if that one person is what got you through each day.

I think we sometimes do not want to admit this but I believe that missing someone is beneficial to a relationship. I think that you cannot appreciate a person until you know how it is to be without them. Most of the time we need certain people in our lives to motivate us, to make us feel better, to make each day happier but if that person is there everyday, all the time, their actions and prescence in your life looses meaning.

Additionaly, I want to mention that we sadly are reliant on other people. As much as we like to think we live for ourselves, I think we don't; I think we live for others. The woman in the secret is checking the weather where her husband is to in a small way, suffer with him in prison. His well-being is more important than hers at that moment.

Missing the past is normal, natural, bound-to-happen but my last words on this topic are that if one ever wants to proceed with life, he or she has to let go of the past and forget it and look into the future.

Lost Heart

http://www.postsecret.com/

This weeks secrets were all Valentine's Day themed and this one caught my attention because of how "messed up" the situation was. The person went out of her way to see an ex-boyfriend and lied about it to her family because she was ashamed. The reason she gives for doing this is following her heart; which may seem a little crazy but love can make a person do crazy things. I read many articles that say that being in love releases the same chemicals and makes you feel a comparable way to the high one gets from cocaine. Love is immensely powerful and thinking about it can be a little scary sometimes.

Another aspect of this secret that appealed to me is the spontaneity and adventurous spirit of the girl who wrote it. It is almost consoling in a way that people can let go of their lives and let go of their brain trying to stop them from making dumb choices and just be free and live life. This choice she made may have not been the smartest but it did increase her happiness, even if for a weekend. I guess what I am trying to say is that I admire people who do not overthink life, instead, they just live it day by day and do whatever they feel like. Having freedom like this, to me, is the best way to live life because it allows you to have no regrets about things you did not do. In addition, looking at the postcard, the secret has nothing to do with the image of cheese; they both highly contradict each other. I guess this was supposed to further support that the writer is a “free soul” and show how she does not follow norms or expectations.

One of my favorite quotes is:  “A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages” which goes perfectly with this week’s postsecret.

Trapped



http://www.postsecret.com/

 Humans are creatures of habits. Once we get used to doing something one way, even if it makes us miserable, we do not want life to change. I think we can all somewhat relate to this fifty year-old person. We all have those moments where we are miserable with our lives and want to "start over" but seldom do we have the courage to do so. I have some theories as to why change is so scary to us. One of them is that we would hate to lose our comfort. We do not want to make ourselves worse-off than we already are and therefore we are not prone to change aspects of our lives that we do not know the outcomes of. Another theory is that change and fear can be synonymous. Going into the unknown is frightening and we would rather have the feeling of security.

But here is my question. Is it better to risk comfort and security for a potential better life? I would answer yes. I think change is good and that change is healthy. It is hard to adapt to change but I think it is necessary for all of us to attempt to do it. Are we really getting the full meaning out of life if we adapt to our daily routines? I think life is about experiencing everything once and we need change in order to do so.

To further explain, I believe that we are only unhappy because we choose to be unhappy. We are unwilling to change things in our lives because of fear and loss of comfort. I am a firm believer that the happiest people are the ones that are most adaptable to change and I think that this Postsecret is trying to explain that starting over and changing is a road to happiness.

Strangers on the Train



(http://www.postsecret.com/)

 This week, out of the twenty secrets posted on the website, this one stuck me the most because of its blatant truthfulness. I believe that as a society, it has become harder for each and every one of us (especially Americans) to start conversations with strangers. As this postcard depicts, even when we see people doing 'suspicious' things, like a person drawing pictures of others on the train, we hesitate to ask them about it. I think that this lack of being conversational is due to the increase in technology. Everyone nowadays is in their own little world on their iphones or laptops and could care less about what is going on around them. We no longer have conversations with people around us, only people we specifically choose to talk to.

I'd like to contrast this with my summer visits to Poland. I grew up in a fairly rural town called Nowy Sacz and I visit my family there every summer. People in this neighborhood do not own iPhones or any sort of 'new age' technology because it is too expensive and not as popular as it is in America. Instead of technology, they rely on conversations. It is not unlikely to go to the market and be stopped by strangers on the street who are saying "good morning" or "how are you today?" This type of interaction is VERY normal and it is even considered rude to not talk to a person you pass on the street, even if he or she is a complete stranger. To me, this type of social interaction is very pleasant and meeting new people every day is an amazing experience.

So what went wrong in America? I guess technology makes us feel that we do not need the rest of the world; we only need the people in our contact lists on our phones, since they are so easily accessible.

Permission to Cheat

(www.postsecret.com)

"I regret giving my husband permission to cheat

But I really hate oral sex.”

To me, this secret is the regret of an insecure wife. I believe that she loved her husband but did not feel adequate enough for him, so she allowed him to cheat. I think disliking oral sex is a cover up for her feelings of insecurity as a whole. In my personal experience, when you love someone, you want the best for them, and that means sacrificing your own happiness. In this case, the wife hurt herself to save her husband. She may have originally thought she was being heroic, but in the end she realized that her heroic suggestions caused her marriage and trust in each other to crumble and now blames herself.

This relates to society because many people have good intentions for others that are also detrimental to their own well-being. This brings morality into question. We are selfish creatures, so why would we put others’ happiness before our own? Although I have no real answer to this question, I believe that love, passion, closeness of friends and family, are forces that cause us to act on impulses and do spontaneous actions that we would normally not do. I know for a fact that I would “take a bullet” for my family, boyfriend, close friends, even if it leaves me worse off. But once again, this is an unexplainable feeling because as much as I think about it, I cannot think of a concrete reason as to why I would do this other than “because I love them.”

Another relation to society is feeling guilty for doing a good action. If my friend asked me to borrow $1000, and I gave it to her but then found out she bought drugs with it and never repaid it, I would regret my good intention. Although nothing could have stopped me from doing the action, I would blame myself for losing money, just like the wife blames herself for wanting her husband to be better pleasured.  Can it be said that if we do a good action, we expect one in return? 

Intro to Postsecret

"PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail
in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard."

(www.postsecret.com)

Frank Warren started a project years ago where he made fliers asking people to send in personal secrets on a postcard to a P.O. Box. He put these fliers in library books, coffee shops, bulletin boards, and so on. He was surprised at how many responses he had received. He started a project by collecting these postcards and posting them online. Eventually, he turned the postcards into a series of book. Now Postsecret is partnered with 1-800-Suicide, a suicide prevention hotline, because many of the readers claimed that reading these secrets helped them re-think the value of their lives and prevented them from killing themselves.

Each week, I plan to take one of the secrets from the website and write about how it can help people in society overcome their troubles.